Released September 2013
Engineered/Produced by: Frank Marra
Recorded at: Tree House Studios / Jersey City, NJ
Mastered by: Kevin Antreassian / Backroom Studios
Album Artwork by: Diana Puglisi
I’ll never trust anyone but myself until I’m buried beneath my feet. I’ll never trust anyone but myself. So you heard that I was back in town… well I wonder, yeah I wonder if the reason that you called had a hint of selflessness at all. Have the times been hard on you? Well they’ve been hard on me, too. Don’t expect to find shelter here. I have been through it all in these past four years I will not regress. No, I won’t waste another second. When I was just a little kid, I had this line on life; a secret you just can’t describe. Well I can’t believe that 26 will fade at August’s end… how long have I forgotten to live at the hands of a specious vamp; a seductress that owns her craft; this is a warning to every man – protect the life you’ve worked for. So you heard that I was back in town… but that is not the reason, no that is not the reason… you’ve been shattered, broken, beaten, stepped on, lied to, probably cheated and you need me to clean you up. Well there is nothing you could ever say that would make me take you back. You’ve wasted years of my life. Those are years I’ll never get back. And I can’t help but think this is the way you’ve wanted it all along. Well I guess this is what you wanted, bitch.
I want to bathe in a Pirate’s Kingdom. I want the glory of The Seven Seas. I want to feel the wind on my face. I want to learn to breathe. Mystery… a world left to explore. Well now it’s time to set sail. I have locked my bearings straight for the fountain of youth to cure what’s ailing me. Father Time, I know you’ll not be by my side and that’s okay ‘cause I don’t need you anymore. And I’ll embrace the fall ‘cause after all… a captain goes down with his ship. Yo-ho and a bottle! We are all dead men. Dead men feel the way I feel ‘cause we both can’t tell tales. It’s plain to see that we are all dead once we decide to live a life that has lost all meaning. Father Time, I know you’ll not be by my side but I was hoping to get a word. I will take what I can get. I’ll live my life with no regrets. I’ll cherish every moment with the visions of a former state of wisdom. Visions of a former state of wisdom, I remember your word.
It’s not the promise you made me… I knew that it wouldn’t keep. It’s just the way that you played me like strippers who feed me a lie for a guarantee. I think I’ve been making progress whether or not I believe. I think I’ve been making progress in finding the youth that is buried inside of me. I think I’m not alone. I’d bet I’m not alone. I think I’m not alone, I’d bet I’m not. Ready or not, I’m breaking out of here. Crushing the throat of depression, I feel my youth coming back. Crushing the throat of depression, I can feel my old self coming back.
Yeah, in just a minute I knew I was getting the feeling. Breathe this air into my lungs (x3) When I’m feeling the summer air filter my lungs mixed with burning greens and rum, you won’t find me caring much about the reason to meet my friends from South New York down the coastline we adore. If you got a problem, I never want to know. Yeah, good god I never want to know. Breathless… that’s how I’m rendered with you blow into town. That’s how you rattle my bones. You’ve got me feeling safe like we have it all in control until you blow right back out of town again. I’m writing letters now, becoming more uncertain about myself without you here. You satisfied? You’ve got me running around, running around, running… I run to you like it matters… no. I can’t keep my hands off her while she’s in town, I’m a scoundrel. I can’t keep my mind off of what she must do when I’m not around. Can’t help but think about how good it could be if she’d just pack her shit and move out here with me. What a world it would be…
Spark the engine, let’s drive. I don’t care where we’re going. Not quite sure where we will end up but baby, we’re going to find out. So when our beards turn to gray and our skin is revolting we can say that we have the memories of ten thousand lifetimes. So I’ll keep you apprised of just where I’ll be going. Rest assured that I’ll only travel where my heart beckons me to go.
Day after day I’m taking strides to dig inside and find my PMA. The world out there… it’s tough to bear so we go drinking night after night. I hope that we’ll be alright. There’s a lesson in everything. Don’t regret doing anything, I won’t. No, I won’t. I won’t and I’ll tell you why. I’ve been feeling I was holding on for nothing. I was feeling suicidal, dark depression, miles and miles and miles from any positive thought. When my mind became a prison and my heart was torn apart. I’ve been fighting my way back from that place. I wish someone had told me things don’t stay the same.
It seemed like such a short time ago that I was growing up with my friends after school. I never thought that anything could change until the clocks sped and up and shit got rearranged. I won’t lie I’ve been having trouble dealing with the problems that I have. It doesn’t help when the solutions only cause more problems; does it ever end? And I won’t lie; I’ve been having a little trouble. And it doesn’t help when all the solutions cause more problems… it never ends. Right when I thought I’d lost my head. Just when I thought that everything had gone to pieces on me. Right when I bought my first weapon. Just when I bought into the lies I used to brand myself; I’d built a cage and can’t find my way out. But do you ever really know? Do you ever really know who you are? I mean really know… I can’t live another day. I just can’t live another day pretending to be something that I’m not. It isn’t progress if you’re stagnant, you’re all talk. The only progress is a man who has the strength to follow his heart. Follow my heart to the grave. Traveling in sin, I’ve been closing myself in. Traveling in sin, I’m lost.
Number 1 Contender
Ready, break! Ladies and gentleman, welcome to the main event. In this corner standing at 6 feet and weighing in at 145 pounds… it’s the man who refuses to stay down… I bring to you… everything I am; my victories and my failures. Take me as I am ‘cause everyone feels lost sometimes… but just close your eyes and it will be alright. So when you’re down: sing loud, sing loud! On the ground? Sing loud, sing loud! Put your hands upon my chest and feel the beating proof that you’re not dead. Am I the salt of the earth? Am I the worst kind of person? You rarely know just what I feel about myself. So don’t waste your time, no don’t temporize because whether you’re ready or not you will surely age and the hands of time will close around your throat. And when it’s too late you will see… you will see what it’s like to be me. ‘Cause they know your smell… know it all too well. So will you take this lying down or standing tall and proud?
The tables are turning and there’s no place left to hide. The world is getting smaller… smaller than people’s minds. Conversation is dying. A whole generation, desensitized. A box in a box in a box in a box… Will you be the one who falls asleep at night with dreams of the world, or the world from his bedside? Or will you be the one with plans? Accomplish when you find the time… but the time never comes. But the time never comes… shit. Disconnect from it all. There’s monsters aplenty. Disconnect. Turn the lights out. TURN THE LIGHTS OUT.